Chatpata Joke

Santa to Banta: I and my girlfriend are getting married.
Banta: Oh great, but when is the marriage?
Santa: I am marrying on on 13th Jan and my girlfriend on 20th.

An Indian Sardar ji & a Pakistani were in Titanic. Titanic was sinking.
Pakistani: How much the earth is far from here?
Indian Sardar Ji: 2 kilo meter.
The Pakistani jumped into the sea and asked again: ...in which direction?
Indian Sardar Ji: Downwards.

Husband: Honey, I invited a friend home for dinner.
Wife: What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, all the dishes are dirty, and I can't cook meal.
Funny Husband: I know all that.
Wife: Then why did you invite the friend?
Funny Husband: Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married.

Sardarji saw two Pakistani workers in Karachi. One of them dig a hole, and the other guy immediately fill it with soil again. They repeated the work again and again.
Sardarji couldn’t understand their job. He asked the Pakistanis about it.
Paki Worker replied: The third guy who plants the trees in holes is on leave today, & we are doing our duty.

Laloo applied for the post of a detective in Patna. In the interview he was asked a question:
Who killed Mahatma Gandhi?
Laloo: I will tell you tomorrow.
Laloo come home and tells his wife: I got the job and my first work is to investigate who killed Gandhi.

Laloo rang labor room of hospital to to know about his pregnant wife Rabri. By mistake he dialled the number of a cricket stadium.
Laloo: How's it going?
Reply: Fine, four are already out. The last one was a duck.

Santa was weeping at a grave, "Why did you die? Why did you die? Your death ruined my life."
Banta: For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent? Wife? or Girlfriend ?
Santa: My wife’s first husband.

A big, burly man visited the pastor's home and asked to see the minister's wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses.

"Madam," he said in a broken voice, "I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400."

"How terrible!" exclaimed the preacher's wife. "May I ask who you are?"

The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes and sobbed, "I'm the landlord."

A big, burly man visited the pastor's home and asked to see the minister's wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses.

"Madam," he said in a broken voice, "I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400."

"How terrible!" exclaimed the preacher's wife. "May I ask who you are?"

The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes and sobbed, "I'm the landlord."

फ़ोन का बहुत अधिक बिल आने पर एक आदमी ने अपने घर के सभी लोगों को बुलाया और कहने लगा!

बाप: देखो, मुझे इस बात पर बिल्कुल भी यकीन नही हो रहा है कि फ़ोन का इतना अधिक बिल कैसे आ सकता है? जबकि मैं तो सारे फ़ोन अपने ऑफिस के फ़ोन से करता हूँ!

माँ: बिल्कुल, मैं भी! मैं तो कभी भी इस फ़ोन से फ़ोन नही करती क्योंकि मेरे पास तो अपना ऑफिस वाला फ़ोन है!

बेटा: मुझे तो मेरी कंपनी वालों ने बिल्कुल नया फ़ोन दिया है मैं तो उसी से फ़ोन करता हूँ!

नौकरानी: तो इसमें दिक्कत क्या है साहब? सभी अपने काम वाले फ़ोन से ही फ़ोन करते हैं!